NOT SO Happy Memories of Diwali PS: Its Hilarious...

Tomorrow is Diwali. The most Beautiful and Expressive of all Hindu Festivals. Although this Festival of lights is now darkened with air and noise pollution and Extremely high electricity consumption but it doesn't stops us from celebrating it in same old ways. Anyways I am away from my family this Diwali again and I miss them badly. As usual these days I woke up very late, watched some old but supper funny Ellen Degeneres videos on YouTube from her early Stand-up days and finally I showered in the evening. Its no secret to my friends that my little flat is an example of Worst Ventilation that may exist so every now and then I have to open all the doors and windows to facilitate the movement of fresh air and bad air out. That's when my land lady came up to door and asked me for electricity bill papers. I pointed it out to the stairs and handed her my two months bill money. She was in particularly good mood today, she asked me about college, parents and finally invited me to dinner. I had to avoid it as if my life is in danger without hurting her feelings and noble intentions. I made an excuse that my friend is coming over and we are going out for dinner but ultimately wound up being invited tomorrow, on Diwali, with no excuses. She is a good lady but we have a Diwali history and that's what I will tell u about.

Exactly one year before, I didn't visit home either but that was the first time I was away from home on Diwali. I was feeling homesick and lonely when I found my land lady at the door. She talked about something and then invited me over to a dinner with her family. I happily accepted as some company was better than none especially when a home cooked meal was involved. I got dressed up in an hour and went on to the second floor where they reside. They are a wonderful family, with a beautiful home and hospitality like I have never witnessed before. We all talked a little and sat down for dinner. Food was served and that's were the story begins. The food was weird, a mixture of solid food which I'm used to for dinners and a lot of very light smacks that we people in the eastern India never eat for dinners. I didn't dare ask them about it, I cleaned my plate as much as possible as that's the norm and thanked them for it. I don't know whether I looked dissatisfied or unimpressed or too cute maybe, the next day I got invited again. Now that's when this story takes a scary turn.

The next day I dressed up fresh and clean once again and went up. Today they had some guests over too. Oh! It was one happy and cheerful family. That's what I got from there loud conversations as I didn't understand their language Marathi, not a single word. We sat down for the dinner just like the other day but today the menu was special. It was an authentic Marathi dish that I had never seen or heard about before. It looked something like a thick taco with dark heavy filling. They told me how its eaten and I began. The first bite I realised the spice content was way beyond what my taste buds and intestines could ever take. Don't get me wrong, I love spicy food. I'm an Indian so its kinda built into my DNA to like spicy food. But this was something way beyond the level I thought was edible, let alone enjoyable and celebrated keeping your health and bowels in consideration.

Now in India, eating everything on plate is a way to show your respect to the host. Its a way to express that you loved the food as a compliment to the host. And I kept thinking about it while my tongue, lips and cheeks burned like fire and I knew next morning the bowels will punish me again. I kept eating slowly as much as I could, too slow perhaps since everyone noticed and kept asking me if I didn't like the food. How courteous of me as I kept saying no its rather delicious. It was not until TEAR DROPS rolled down my cheek that they realised the truth and her eldest son exclaimed "Its too spicy for you isn't it!!!" And I quietly nodded my head. I was literally crying, with all wet eyes, tears and everything, that's how spicy the food was. It was probably one of the most embarrassing and humiliating event of my life. He was kind enough to say next that it was ok for me to not finish everything on the plate and that it would be ok if I leave for the washroom and freshen up a little.

Its been a year now and the taste buds on my tongue have grown back up from the nuclear warfare they underwent last Diwali. Diwali is back and so is the invitation. My soul as well as guts and bowel are trembling in fear. I hope this time its different and a better experience then the last time. I pray to the lord that I do not embarrass myself once again before that sweet, caring family. Amen.